Sick day's with the swine flu

In a perfect world, all offices would be empty. All across America employees would spontaneously be stricken with sickness. These tell tell signs would only mean one thing... people don't like work. You can't blame them in this skiddish, paranoid economy.

The majority of people eke it out in 5x5 cubicles where, to God, we must look like that old elephant at the zoo. You know the one, he doesn't come near the fence and tends a broken tusk. We are paranoid that at any moment the zookeeper will round the cubicle and give us a thorough pink slipping, right on on our leathery elephant kneecaps. We need a day off.

At the close of every week you can find people at bars and hangouts setting plans for the following weekend on the current weekend. The worker bees choose to live from weekend to weekend forgetting that they have sick days to burn. Friend, will you trust that their is no better time than now to burn these sick days. It's simple, just tell your boss you have the swine flu. This will be sure to land you a few days off. After all, no one wants you in the office spreading your filthy, imaginary, pig germs.

I am sure someone out their is saying, "I simply can't take a day, I have a kid and he's always getting sick, I'll need those days to tend to him." Well that's just wonderful, you use your sick days when you aren't even sick just to get sick and use more sick days. You disgust me, be strong teach little Johnnie about responsibility. You warned him to wash his nasty little hands. It's obvious his two ears do not work, they are simply there to make his head look smaller. Drop him off at school anyways. Be sure to tell him you love him, as children are fragile, and add that he has the swine flu.

After all that emotion your really going to want to take a sick day. Keep in mind it won't be too much longer before they find a cure for this bug. If you don't act on your instinct now there may not be another chance. You don't have to go to work, you don't have to keep forcing yourself into this hell, especially when a one to two week vacation is right on the doorstep. However, if you do end up in that dungeon and find your boss is down your throat. Let him know that it could be starting to make you sick...cough, cough.

You don't have to be old elephant in cramped cage. You can be a spring swine that is off the clock at nine and drinking wine. Enjoy your time off!