SPAM JAM-Hawaii

You wouldn't have known it, but more Spam is consumed per person in Hawaii than any other state in the United States. In many places this treat is taken for granted, but in this tiny off shoot of the U.S. it has its own festival. It's true every year the denizens of this cinder block chain gather to pay homage to the first meat shipped to the island.

It wasn't so long ago that the day to day sustenance of islanders consisted of nothing more than coconut milk and monkey tail jerky. That was until 1947 when the Red Cross began serving the treat to soldiers rehabbing from injuries sustained in the second great war. It was quickly found that the meat vastly improved the morale of the men which, in turn, led to a speedier recovery. With it's mood improving properties and delectable taste Spam was fast on its way to becoming the go to replacement for monkey tail.

The popularity of the glazed gourmet ham only skyrocketed following the war. The inhabitants of the ashen earth had never tasted such a convenient meat. Local grocers simply could not keep shelves stocked and the high demand and limited availability led to black market sales. Father turned against son, mother against daughter, and neighbor only visited neighbor to raid the cupboard (whats really changed). However, could it be that in what seemed the worst of times a great story was being woven...yes. Take for instance John Kimble, 78 years old and former owner of Kimble's Pantry, his story perfectly captures the esprit de corps.

"I remember coming back to the diner late one night because I thought I had left the walk in open (this is what old people call freezers). You see at that time we didn't know that you didn't have to frigerate the ham to keep it from spoilin. Well when I opened the door I found some hobo on floor covered under empty cans. He was wearing nothing but a sleepy smile and a pair of dingy under bottoms. The odd thing was I recognized him, it turned out that it was my brother. I hadn't seen him since I kicked him out of my home on account of him nippin my hooch. After I shook him to we talked in the corner booth over coffee of course this was after I made him cover hisself with an apron. He told me he had been 6 months off the bottle. This still didn't explain his partial nudity and why he was bathed in meat glaze in my walk-in. He told me he hadn't eaten for days and he found me in the phone book but couldn't bring hisself to ask for no handout.

The way he tells it, he waited til I left and snuck in an open window. It's a trustin island and a few SPAM thefts weren't going to make me shut up my windows. Well he said to me he made his way to the walk in and cracked open one of those cans. As soon as the glaze dripped from the can and hit his tongue he went into a fit. So much of a fit that he stripped down to his skivvies to prevent from spilling on his clothes. He laughs, "Well all I know is it was good to have him back."

It's these simple jems among the many mines of good will that lead these islanders to worship the meat. John, in brotherly goodwill, gave his brother a job working at the diner. This tender act led the diner to financial ruin as he was unable to curb his brothers potted meat pangs.

It is cliche to say that time goes on, but today the former site of "Kimble's Diner" is the meeting place for "Spam Jam." A celebration for Spam, a meat that most perfectly represents all that is Hawaiian. Courage, Community, and the pursuit of Contiguity.